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Writer's pictureNikhil Badkundri

Decouple self-worth from outcomes

Updated: Apr 4

You are not what you do and achieve, self-worth is not transient, it is inherent. It does not change based on what you do.


Athletes invest a significant amount of time, effort, and resources into their sport. They often train for hours on end, sacrifice their social lives, and endure physical discomfort to improve their outcomes. But sometimes, despite their best efforts, things don't go according to plan. They may lose an important match, miss a crucial shot, or fall short of achieving their goals. When this happens, many athletes experience a dip in their self-confidence and self-worth. They question their abilities and wonder if they are good enough to compete at a high level. In some cases, this can lead to a pervasive sense of insecurity and anxiety that affects their overall performance. I am sure this has happened to you as well.

However, the truth is that an athlete's self-worth should not be tied to their performance outcomes. This is because performance outcomes are often influenced by factors beyond an athlete's control. For example, weather conditions can affect the outcome of an outdoor match, and injured players can significantly impact a team's performance. Therefore, decoupling self-worth from the final outcome can help athletes to perform consistently and lead to better lives in the longer run. Remember, you cannot control everything - but can respond in a way that trusts who you are and how you show up.

So how can athletes decouple self-worth from performance outcomes? Here are some tips to develop a healthier mindset that allows them to focus on their performance rather than their results.

# Focus on the process, not the outcome

The process is what athletes do to prepare for their sport, including training, nutrition, and mental preparation. Focusing on the process means focusing on the tasks that lead to success rather than on the success itself. This means that athletes should aim to improve their skills, technique, and fitness levels rather than focusing solely on winning or achieving a particular outcome. The process is within an athlete's control, which means they can always improve their abilities regardless of external factors.

# Celebrate small victories

Many athletes are guilty of waiting for significant milestones to celebrate their success. However, this mindset can lead to a sense of failure or disappointment when they don't achieve those outcomes. Instead, athletes should celebrate small victories along the way, such as getting through a difficult training session or mastering a new skill. Celebrating small victories can help to build confidence and sustain motivation while also acknowledging the effort put in towards their sport.

# Acknowledge progress

Acknowledging progress acknowledges the effort and hard work put in over time. An athlete may not have achieved a particular outcome, but if they have made progress towards that goal, it's important to acknowledge that. Acknowledging progress prevents them from feeling like a failure and helps build momentum towards their desired level of success. You will always spend more time in the process compared to soaking in the accolades of the outcome - so ensure the process of getting there, wherever "there" might represent, has been worthwhile.

# Reflect on the reasons for pursuing their sport

An athlete should be clear on the reasons for pursuing their sport, knowing you "why". It doesn't always have to be about winning, but what their sport provides for them. Individuals make different choices about their path to success, and some may want to push themselves and compete for success. In contrast, others might want to pursue a sport for leisure or for mental health reasons. By focusing on the benefits they gain from their sport, an athlete can connect with their reasons for pursuing their sport and find comfort in it, regardless of the outcome.

# Validation comes from internal resourcefulness

Athletes usually are hardest on themselves, and this can lead to a distorted view of their performance. Seeking external validation from loved ones, such as coaches, friends, and family, helps an athlete gain perspective on their performance and it helps at times, however, externalizing validation is a futile strategy over the longer run. By seeking validation from others who have solid reasons to appreciate an athlete's effort, the athlete can see that they may be doing better than they think, but unless they believe that - that strategy is not going to work. Internal validation and resourcefulness is the only way to contextualize the different aspects of performance and identify what is to be celebrated when an outcome is achieved.

# Conclusion


To conclude, an athlete's self-worth should not be tied to their performance outcomes. Rather, they should focus on the process, celebrate small victories, acknowledge progress, reflect on the reasons for pursuing their sport, and look at internal validation. By embracing these tips, athletes can develop a healthier mindset that allows them to perform consistently and lead to better lives. They become less prone to scrutinizing their performances and more open to using the benefits of their sport to achieve their potential - which is the precursor to success.


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